Julie is a member of Six Figure Moms Club.  I’m proud to know her and to have the opportunity to learn from her as another working mother following her dreams and working through the challenges every day.  Thank you Julie for sharing this wonderful post with us.  May you find everything you always wanted…that’s not already right in front of you.

Warmly, Angie

Just Not Enough Time in The Day

By Julie Frans

Us working moms perform magic tricks day in and day out. Every mom has a few magic tricks up her sleeve, but there’s no denying us entrepenurial, business owning, super-driven moms have to have a bit of magic tricks and crafty spells in mastering the fine art of balancing business, motherhood, wife-hood, self health and happiness.

Balancing, juggling, struggling… however you get through it, however you call it, working moms are a rare breed. And yet… we still have not mastered how in the world to add more hours into our day… or have we?

I was always busy, graduating with honors from UCSB just after turning 21. I started a business from scratch at the age of 26 after traveling the world, with nothing more than a backpack when I arrived San Diego.

After cooking aboard yachts throughout California, Mexico, and Alaska, I figured simply, “I can do this at home- no problem! Everyone needs to dine well!” Little did I know what I was getting myself into.

Website development, networking, sales, tracking, follow-up, risk management, insurance, workman’s comp, booking, staffing, payroll, permits… and the dreaded Q word… Quickbooks! I never knew I would have to be a book keeper to be a chef! I was barely cooking anymore- I was juggling 10 different jobs at all times.

I quickly adapted- I multiplied myself. I didn’t want to work that “hard” forever- I wanted a family! I wanted a business that worked for ME!.. So that I could have a happy family, take my kids to the zoo every week, do yoga, travel! Boy, was that a silly notion.

As I grew my business, my responsibilities grew exponentially. Bills multiplied. As money came rolling in in droves, money went soaring right back out in sealed envelopes. Employee uniforms! Client gifts!

Now there were 5 of us networking, not one; 10 of us putting miles on our cars, not one!

My husband, a wonderful man who jumped along for the ride after a very cush job as a private chef to an ambassador, had no idea what was in store for him, but learned to pull his weight in the business.

Whatever he may lack in entrepenurial fire, he makes up for tenfold with his raw cooking talent and creativity, his personality that sells our business with his genuine smile and compassion, and his capacity as a loving husband and wonderful father.  My Johnny, my amazing, bright and happy 1 year old, is quite possibly the most well adapted kid in San Diego- leave him with anyone friendly and he’s happy… so it seems now. But- the guilt and wonder is always there- as I forge ahead with business, growing it as I chase that ever dangling carrot in front of me, thinking… “someday,” am I leaving my 2 guys in the shadows? Am I fulfilling my duties as wife and mother as I strive for bigger, better, more?

A wise man told me I need to get over my case of the “as soon as…”

syndrome.  ”As soon as” the business is “here” I will have “this.”

This being time, freedom, zoo trips with Johnny any time I want. It’s the entrepenuer in me. It’s the dreamer. It’s the driven, determined, passionate mission of my soul to keep it going until… until what?

Until I am satisfied in every aspect of life? Until I have mastered that fine art of perfect balance? Until I feel like there are enough hours in the day?

The bottom line is that I live this life because I have to… no, not for money… but for love. For the love of the challenge, for the love of the mission, for love of the teamwork that my family has to make this business and this life work harmoniously. It’s definitely not easy running a business as a mother. It’s not easy running a business with your husband. It’s not easy pulling off magic tricks every single day to create more hours so that everyone is getting their due- husband, child, business… me! But I would not trade my life for anyone’s. I am living my passion, pursuing my dream, and making magic every way I can to keep my life in the balance. And we are making magic together, as a company and as a family, Robbie, me, and even Johnny, as we create magic in the homes and lives of the people we feed and help live better lives through food.

I had so much work to do on my flight from San Diego to Houston but as a working mother doing double duty, I’d been jumping from one deadline to the next for weeks.  When I saw the in-flight movie preview, I felt a strong, undeniable pull to watch.  It seemed the best thing I could do for my sanity (and that of everyone around me) was pay some respect to work life balance, buy a headset, sit back and unwind.  After all, this is precious time on a plane, alone, no internet access, no cell phones allowed, no twitter (sorry friend).

So, I watched the movie, “The Women” with Annette Benning and Meg Ryan* and loads of other high profile female stars.  I laughed, I cried, I enjoyed, I drank hot tea (2 cups) I related to the struggles, I found inspiration and then I started writing.

That’s what happens for me when I get overloaded. I can’t write.  But then when I feed my soul a bit, words start pouring out and I want to stay up all night writing.  I guess maybe that’s how writers function.  It’s a great barometer for me.  I know I’ve written about this before.   I’m bringing it up again because I know this so well about myself but still I don’t always pay attention.  How about you?  Do you pay attention to your barometers better than me?

Back to the movie.  In “The Women”, there were a few themes that were in direct parallel with the themes I like to write about here at Six Figure Moms Club.

• Putting Yourself First:  Bette Midler’s character says to Meg Ryan’s character something like this  “Girl, You’ve got to get selfish.  Unless you know what you want and need.  Nobody else can see the best you.” (Forgive me, I’m sure I’m misquoting a little).
• Being a Role Model to our Children:  Meg Ryan’s character is having trouble relating to her teenage daughter.  It’s not until she finds her true self and follows her dreams that her daughter gains respect and looks up to her mother as a role model.
• Work Life Balance:  Meg Ryan’s character has an opportunity to grow a really large company but she discusses how balance and family are important to her and that the cost of having that might be more than she’s willing to give.

Sure this is a movie and some of the scenes are a bit Pollyanna-like and a bit unbelievable, but overall I’m happy I invested the time to watch the movie instead of work on the plane and to get myself writing again.  Amazing what a two hour film can do for me.  Why is it that I don’t do that more often?   If you haven’t seen the movie, it’s definitely worth renting.

*I’m reading the description and it seems funny to me that it doesn’t even list Meg Ryan.  It says, Annette Benning and Debra Messing.  Interesting given Meg Ryan is the main character.

My daughter has had some bronchitis/ear/throat combo ick plus we had an “incident” at school and it’s her fourth birthday next weekend so we’re planning a party.

Let’s start with the Bronchitis Ick. I got a call on the way to a meeting to pick my daughter up at school due to a fever.  Of course, I canceled meetings and went to her immediately.  Next, five days lost work.  Not to mention my little one who suffered.  Thank goodness for flexible work and the ability to stay home when I need to but it sure does put a kink in ones ability to keep up.  (I did win an Ipod Touch Tweeting on @joelcomm’s Tweetathon while my daughter laid on my lap. Woo Hoo and Thanks Joel! Of Course, I haven’t had time to use it yet but you can read more about this event here.)

Next, my daughter told me an alarming story about boys and her private body parts.  This is so personal and dear to us that I won’t go into details.  However, I wanted to mention it to alert you that our children are never too young to be reminded about personal privacy and their own personal power.  My daughter is still three.  I was naive to think she wouldn’t be facing any issues like this yet.  As a protective mama bear, I’m now on the watch and in full training mode. I want you to be aware too so I’m telling you that we need to remind our little girls that they are SUPERGIRL!  Little Swartz and I are now talking about personal safety on a regular basis.  She’s fine but I’m in the middle of an investigation with her school.  What happened to her was mild and I’m thankful that I’m now in high alert mode.  I can do even better to protect her.

Now for the fun stuff.  As I mentioned, she’s turning four soon.  Her Grandma is flying into town for her birthday and we’re planning a party for 40 kiddos.  You know the drill, party planning, invitations, goody bags, food menu, RSVP coordination…oh, and getting ready for a visit from Grandma.

So, I’ve had a few wrenches lately…

I know some of you have had a few wrenches too so I wanted to write about mine. Sometimes it’s just good to know that we aren’t all in this alone. Everyone has wrenches.  I know I’m not perfect but I just keep trying to keep my head above water and to keep moving everything forward. My solace comes from helping other people so I try to help someone else every day. It makes me feel better. What makes you feel better?

In addition to my wrenches, I’m working on some really fabulous things that I can’t wait to tell you all about.  I’ll be writing more detailed posts in the future but for now, go check out GoEverywhere. I’m working on a social media project with them via Square Martini Media.

You can get a beta license to their Cloud Computing product and try it out for FREE….yes FREE! It’s REALLY amazing for a remote worker and helps cut down cost, improve productivity and give you added freedom to work from anywhere without lugging around a big heavy computer!  You know me…I love anything that adds more freedom to working from Everywhere!

Happy Sunday and cheers to turning your Wrenches into Rainbows!

I always like to do something special in January every year.  I feel it’s so important that we take a pause and really devote some focused attention to our personal goals and intentions for the coming year.  It’s critical to keep our eye on where we want to go, especially for working mothers.  If you want any chance at work life balance, you have to put yourself in the driver’s seat and do some serious planning.

For our January events, I like the environment to be really nice so that you hard working mothers can relax and feel comfortable to enjoy yourselves and let your creative minds flow.  I want great food, great wine (a given, right? besides-what would Gary Vaynerchuk say if we had no wine and no sniffy-sniff?), great ambiance, great company (you provide that part and inspiring reading for a little advance prep to get you into the right mindset.

So, I started looking for the advance reading and I googled vision boards.  The first thing that came up was Joyce Schwarz’s The Vision Board Book.  I clicked through and remembered that Joyce and I had met last year at Blog World Expo.  I read her website, was amazed to see  that just like Matt Lauer and I, she also went to Ohio University, and then I called her.  Next thing I knew, an hour had gone by and Joyce and I had just finished a fabulous conversation about vision boards.

Look for another post about Joyce later this month.  She’s given us access to 20 free pages of her book and donated a free copy of the book that I’ll give away on January 22.

If you’re in the San Diego area, I hope you’ll join us for a fun evening devoted to YOU and your 2009 intentions.  You can sign up under the events tab.

If you don’t live in San Diego, I encourage you to have your own vision board party.  I’ve been creating vision boards with my grad school girlfriends for over seven years.  It always makes for a great day together as we catch up and plan our futures.  Or, if you don’t have time for a party, make it an event for yourself alone or with your husband or partner.  It really is a fun way to get focused on where you want to go.

Lastly, I’ll leave you with some homework: Christine Kanes’ great article on How to Make a Vision Board.  Enjoy!

For example, I once interviewed a woman who was previously a partner in a very large law firm in Washington DC making over $.5 Million per year. Prior to deciding to start a family, she was the major breadwinner for her family. Once she and her husband embarked upon becoming three, they decided her husband’s career would become the focus and hers would take the back seat.

They left DC and relocated to the Midwest where he settled into a lucrative lead position in a prominent company. She got pregnant, had a baby and started consulting. At the time of our interview, she was a bit lost and although she was doing great work and award winning research, she felt uncomfortable charging for her services. Why is this? It is certainly a phenomenon I see in many women once they off ramp from their high powered careers to care for their children. It’s like our identities are so tied to success and the path that planned for ourselves that we don’t know what to do once we take a detour. What’s up with that? Do we feel guilty? Are we just confused? Can it be that we have tied our self worth so deeply to our salaries that we don’t know what to do once we take a different path? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic so please post your comments and let’s discuss.

Very interestingly and conversely though, women just a few years younger and still without children, can’t imagine this being an issue. Last Friday, I had a discussion with Ginger, Founder of Girls Just Want to Have Funds , a 20 something women’s finance group in Washington DC. Ginger posed the question of “Why Do Professional Women Lose Confidence?” to her blog readers. These readers are a few years younger, well educated and most do not yet have children. They are likely the Six Figure Moms of the future. The responses indicate that this group of educated, young ladies feel they will not experience this same emotion once children enter there lives. Hmmm. I’ll be interested to watch them and to understand whether a younger generation is better equipped to deal with this juggle/struggle. It will be interesting to watch their responses over the next few days.

What do you think? My bet is, as sorry as I am to say this, that unless they’ve been able to build a flexible career for themself already, they’ll be dealing with the same issues that you Six Figure Moms of today are. What CAN we do to help create a different path for them? Well, for one, if you are in a supervisory role, think about what you can do to make change. If you have power, you can be a change agent. What’s stopping you? Your image? Shame Shame ladies!

The goal of the event is to help promote an open dialog about flexibility in the workplace for the many professional mothers and fathers who struggle with work life balance and the employers competing for talent in today’s increasingly demanding work environment. You can read more specifics about the event at their web site but below are a few of the highlights of the conference:

• Are you a professional woman ready to on-ramp / re-enter the workforce after a break?
• Are you an employer looking for new ways to engage high level talent?
• Are you a valued employee who is struggling to keep family life from impacting your work?

Six Figure Moms Club is a contributing sponsor of this event because we feel it is such an important step toward opening doors to more flexible work options with employers in Southern California.

If you would like more information, please contact Jessica Reister at 949-276-9812.

I’ll be attending so twitter me so I’ll be sure to look for you!

In her comment to my blogpost, she so poignently points out that there’s a fundamental issue with the whole concept of Work Life Balance beginning with the name itself.  Starting the name with work, not LIFE is not a good start.  Excellent point Jen.  What else can you teach us?  Leaders are everywhere around us.  We just have to open our eyes and our hearts to them.  I’m thankful that I ran into Jen and I’m wondering who will teach me what lesson this weekend.  So cheers to LIfe Balance.  What mantras do the rest of you live by?

I was talking with a good friend last week. She used to work but now she’s a stay at home mom of two. She said, I can’t believe I’ve been off work for over three years now. I keep thinking if I go back, I’ll feel better about contributing to the family finances and therefore feel better about taking time out and spending money on myself. I smiled, knowing that the scale would then get off kilter in another direction. I see it all the time. Moms who work don’t take time for themselves because they feel guilty for not spending enough time with their kids. Nobody’s got the perfect scenario.

So, back to my original point. Is Work Life Balance is an oxymoron? Perhaps if we renamed it to Work Life Imbalance and accepted it as such, we would all be a bit happier with our lives as working mothers? I know I’ve been trying to embrace it as such and it’s helping. I try to be present with whatever is in front of me at that moment. Yes, there are days when I feel like I’m constantly running from one gauntlet to the next. (I’ll admit, I’m okay with that most of the time because I’m wired to operate that way. Those of you who know me can attest.  At least until I run into the Haywire bumper that is). But there are other days when I feel like I can’t catch my breath. Those are the days when I have to think about the quadratic equation…and the oxymoron of work life balance and to know that my life is like this because I choose for it to be full with work, life and a child. I wouldn’t want it any other way. How about you?

P S. Here’s a nice article by the Mayo Clinic with some suggestions for how to improve your Work Life Imbalance.