For example, I once interviewed a woman who was previously a partner in a very large law firm in Washington DC making over $.5 Million per year. Prior to deciding to start a family, she was the major breadwinner for her family. Once she and her husband embarked upon becoming three, they decided her husband’s career would become the focus and hers would take the back seat.

They left DC and relocated to the Midwest where he settled into a lucrative lead position in a prominent company. She got pregnant, had a baby and started consulting. At the time of our interview, she was a bit lost and although she was doing great work and award winning research, she felt uncomfortable charging for her services. Why is this? It is certainly a phenomenon I see in many women once they off ramp from their high powered careers to care for their children. It’s like our identities are so tied to success and the path that planned for ourselves that we don’t know what to do once we take a detour. What’s up with that? Do we feel guilty? Are we just confused? Can it be that we have tied our self worth so deeply to our salaries that we don’t know what to do once we take a different path? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic so please post your comments and let’s discuss.

Very interestingly and conversely though, women just a few years younger and still without children, can’t imagine this being an issue. Last Friday, I had a discussion with Ginger, Founder of Girls Just Want to Have Funds , a 20 something women’s finance group in Washington DC. Ginger posed the question of “Why Do Professional Women Lose Confidence?” to her blog readers. These readers are a few years younger, well educated and most do not yet have children. They are likely the Six Figure Moms of the future. The responses indicate that this group of educated, young ladies feel they will not experience this same emotion once children enter there lives. Hmmm. I’ll be interested to watch them and to understand whether a younger generation is better equipped to deal with this juggle/struggle. It will be interesting to watch their responses over the next few days.

What do you think? My bet is, as sorry as I am to say this, that unless they’ve been able to build a flexible career for themself already, they’ll be dealing with the same issues that you Six Figure Moms of today are. What CAN we do to help create a different path for them? Well, for one, if you are in a supervisory role, think about what you can do to make change. If you have power, you can be a change agent. What’s stopping you? Your image? Shame Shame ladies!

So, I bet you’re wondering what in the world could rap music have to do with life lessons for executive women?  Keep reading.  I was perusing Tony Robbins’ newsletter when I noticed a link to an appearance on MTV.  I thought, “Tony Robbins is going to take a shot at being a rapper now?  Come on!”.  Anyway, I was just curious enough to watch so I clicked through.  Seems that Hurricane Chris in his 51/50 Ratchet CD has some serious clarity about personal leadership.  The video from Hip Hop Owner’s Manual describes a rap music term, RATCHET. The definition of Ratchet is living your life’s dream and being yourself without regard for what anyone else thinks.  In Rapper speak, “Doing YOU”.  Ratchet comes with a few guiding principles:

1. Raise Your Game – Don’t settle.  Live your life’s dream.  Hold a higher standard and be really clear on your goals.
2. Act Like You Know – Have no fear.  Don’t hesitate.  Take action in moments of clarity when you know your authentic self is driving.
3. Defy and Act – Defy your own fears and limitations.  Be your best self.

Watch the video and see for yourself. Who knew we executive women could learn so much from the rap community!  Watching this video and learning about Hip Hop Owner’s Manual also led me to a very interesting New York Times article about the future of TV and mobile devices.  Where we’re headed is pretty amazing!

So, Life lessons from the Hip Hop Owner’s Manual?  You betcha!

My coaching colleague Tim Kelley has a great quote about life purpose. He says, “Your life purpose is the thing that you have struggled with the most in your own life.” At the time I heard Tim speak, I was still pondering what I really wanted in my second career. I was working but just didn’t feel passionate about what I was doing. At the same time, I was also managing the Six Figure Moms Club in San Diego but I didn’t often mention my work in this area. People would always ask but I would just smile and say, “Oh, that’s not what I do. It’s a fun way for me to give back to the world.” Well, the universe has a way of consistently reminding us what we’re here for. Six Figure Moms became my clients. They became my friends. They inspired me. Some even became my support network and then I finally got the point. I was supposed to do something more than I was doing because this could REALLY help executive women like me.

Even though the topic kept showing up and loudly knocking on my door, it still took me awhile to step up to the plate. I guess I never saw myself as a women’s advocate. Why? I guess subconsciously I always felt if you were a women’s advocate, then you had to be a man’s enemy and I love men. Clearly, I didn’t fully understand the issues with women in the workplace until I had my daughter and started navigating the bumpy road of trying to balance everything. I get it now though, loud and clear. So Life Purpose, I’m on to you and I’m all signed up. My biggest life struggle has been the transition from corporate ladder climber to becoming a parent and creating a career that fits my life. I used to be guilty of living a life that fit my career but that chapter is over.

In Field of Dreams, Kevin Costner showed us, “If you build it, they will come”. I’ve built it; we’ll see what happens next. I hope you all will join me and comment loudly on my blog posts!