Julie is a member of Six Figure Moms Club.  I’m proud to know her and to have the opportunity to learn from her as another working mother following her dreams and working through the challenges every day.  Thank you Julie for sharing this wonderful post with us.  May you find everything you always wanted…that’s not already right in front of you.

Warmly, Angie

Just Not Enough Time in The Day

By Julie Frans

Us working moms perform magic tricks day in and day out. Every mom has a few magic tricks up her sleeve, but there’s no denying us entrepenurial, business owning, super-driven moms have to have a bit of magic tricks and crafty spells in mastering the fine art of balancing business, motherhood, wife-hood, self health and happiness.

Balancing, juggling, struggling… however you get through it, however you call it, working moms are a rare breed. And yet… we still have not mastered how in the world to add more hours into our day… or have we?

I was always busy, graduating with honors from UCSB just after turning 21. I started a business from scratch at the age of 26 after traveling the world, with nothing more than a backpack when I arrived San Diego.

After cooking aboard yachts throughout California, Mexico, and Alaska, I figured simply, “I can do this at home- no problem! Everyone needs to dine well!” Little did I know what I was getting myself into.

Website development, networking, sales, tracking, follow-up, risk management, insurance, workman’s comp, booking, staffing, payroll, permits… and the dreaded Q word… Quickbooks! I never knew I would have to be a book keeper to be a chef! I was barely cooking anymore- I was juggling 10 different jobs at all times.

I quickly adapted- I multiplied myself. I didn’t want to work that “hard” forever- I wanted a family! I wanted a business that worked for ME!.. So that I could have a happy family, take my kids to the zoo every week, do yoga, travel! Boy, was that a silly notion.

As I grew my business, my responsibilities grew exponentially. Bills multiplied. As money came rolling in in droves, money went soaring right back out in sealed envelopes. Employee uniforms! Client gifts!

Now there were 5 of us networking, not one; 10 of us putting miles on our cars, not one!

My husband, a wonderful man who jumped along for the ride after a very cush job as a private chef to an ambassador, had no idea what was in store for him, but learned to pull his weight in the business.

Whatever he may lack in entrepenurial fire, he makes up for tenfold with his raw cooking talent and creativity, his personality that sells our business with his genuine smile and compassion, and his capacity as a loving husband and wonderful father.  My Johnny, my amazing, bright and happy 1 year old, is quite possibly the most well adapted kid in San Diego- leave him with anyone friendly and he’s happy… so it seems now. But- the guilt and wonder is always there- as I forge ahead with business, growing it as I chase that ever dangling carrot in front of me, thinking… “someday,” am I leaving my 2 guys in the shadows? Am I fulfilling my duties as wife and mother as I strive for bigger, better, more?

A wise man told me I need to get over my case of the “as soon as…”

syndrome.  ”As soon as” the business is “here” I will have “this.”

This being time, freedom, zoo trips with Johnny any time I want. It’s the entrepenuer in me. It’s the dreamer. It’s the driven, determined, passionate mission of my soul to keep it going until… until what?

Until I am satisfied in every aspect of life? Until I have mastered that fine art of perfect balance? Until I feel like there are enough hours in the day?

The bottom line is that I live this life because I have to… no, not for money… but for love. For the love of the challenge, for the love of the mission, for love of the teamwork that my family has to make this business and this life work harmoniously. It’s definitely not easy running a business as a mother. It’s not easy running a business with your husband. It’s not easy pulling off magic tricks every single day to create more hours so that everyone is getting their due- husband, child, business… me! But I would not trade my life for anyone’s. I am living my passion, pursuing my dream, and making magic every way I can to keep my life in the balance. And we are making magic together, as a company and as a family, Robbie, me, and even Johnny, as we create magic in the homes and lives of the people we feed and help live better lives through food.

So What? Right?

Well the week is so full of great things that you just have to know about them!  I’m one of those people who believes that you should always celebrate your birthday and that if you want to have a good party…throw one for yourself.  However, this year, three great folks are having terrific events during my birthday week.  And you know what?  They really have almost nothing to do with me and absolutely everything to do with you guys.  Both of the following events are so good that you won’t want to miss them!

2nd Annual Next Generation Work Flexibility Event

The 2nd Annual Next Generation Work Flexibility Event on November 3 consists of networking and a panel discusion.  The  event features a keynote address by Holly G. Green and a panel including industry leaders in the work flexibility.  See more details at Flex Work Connection’s website.  This is a Six Figure Moms Club sponsored event.   We also sponsored the inaugural event in Orange county last year.  Flex Work Connection has offered a special $25 rate for Six Figure Moms Club readers if you purchase via this post by clicking here.  You must purchase by Friday to take advantage of this terrific offer of $20 off the published rate! So hurry and buy your tickets! SEE YOU THERE!

Gary Vaynerchuck Wine Tasting and “Crush It!” Book Signing

Gary Vaynerchuk is one of my favorite icons in the social media industry.  He’s a personal branding expert with a passion like no one you’ve lively heard before.  He’s a social media strategist who not only represents the New York Giants but wants to buy them one day!  Every time I hear Gary speak, I can’t stop thinking about him because he’s just so inspiring and infectious!  Don’t miss this opportunity to meet him in person and hear him chat up his new book.

Excerpt from the Meetup.com:

Join @DowntownRob at the phenomenal Vin De Syrah Spirit & Wine Parlor (@SyrahWineParlor) for a Wine Tasting and Crush It! book signing on Wednesday November 4th!

** Everyone attending receives a copy of Gary’s just released book, Crush It! **

This is the wine event not to be missed as Gary’s first claim to fame was his internet TV series Wine Library.TV.  If you aren’t convinced yet, check out this post I wrote after the last time I heard Gary speak at Gravity Summit!  He’s truly on the mark and infectious!

Hope to see you all there so sign up today!

SAVE THE DATES:

NOVEMBER 19: Networking & Group Status Update

JANUARY 19: 4th Annual Making the Most of Your Personal Strategy New Year KickOff

Vision Boarding Event featuring fabulous catering by Dining Details!

FEBRUARY 22: Special Event Hosted by Birch Aquarium!

I had so much work to do on my flight from San Diego to Houston but as a working mother doing double duty, I’d been jumping from one deadline to the next for weeks.  When I saw the in-flight movie preview, I felt a strong, undeniable pull to watch.  It seemed the best thing I could do for my sanity (and that of everyone around me) was pay some respect to work life balance, buy a headset, sit back and unwind.  After all, this is precious time on a plane, alone, no internet access, no cell phones allowed, no twitter (sorry friend).

So, I watched the movie, “The Women” with Annette Benning and Meg Ryan* and loads of other high profile female stars.  I laughed, I cried, I enjoyed, I drank hot tea (2 cups) I related to the struggles, I found inspiration and then I started writing.

That’s what happens for me when I get overloaded. I can’t write.  But then when I feed my soul a bit, words start pouring out and I want to stay up all night writing.  I guess maybe that’s how writers function.  It’s a great barometer for me.  I know I’ve written about this before.   I’m bringing it up again because I know this so well about myself but still I don’t always pay attention.  How about you?  Do you pay attention to your barometers better than me?

Back to the movie.  In “The Women”, there were a few themes that were in direct parallel with the themes I like to write about here at Six Figure Moms Club.

• Putting Yourself First:  Bette Midler’s character says to Meg Ryan’s character something like this  “Girl, You’ve got to get selfish.  Unless you know what you want and need.  Nobody else can see the best you.” (Forgive me, I’m sure I’m misquoting a little).
• Being a Role Model to our Children:  Meg Ryan’s character is having trouble relating to her teenage daughter.  It’s not until she finds her true self and follows her dreams that her daughter gains respect and looks up to her mother as a role model.
• Work Life Balance:  Meg Ryan’s character has an opportunity to grow a really large company but she discusses how balance and family are important to her and that the cost of having that might be more than she’s willing to give.

Sure this is a movie and some of the scenes are a bit Pollyanna-like and a bit unbelievable, but overall I’m happy I invested the time to watch the movie instead of work on the plane and to get myself writing again.  Amazing what a two hour film can do for me.  Why is it that I don’t do that more often?   If you haven’t seen the movie, it’s definitely worth renting.

*I’m reading the description and it seems funny to me that it doesn’t even list Meg Ryan.  It says, Annette Benning and Debra Messing.  Interesting given Meg Ryan is the main character.

My daughter has had some bronchitis/ear/throat combo ick plus we had an “incident” at school and it’s her fourth birthday next weekend so we’re planning a party.

Let’s start with the Bronchitis Ick. I got a call on the way to a meeting to pick my daughter up at school due to a fever.  Of course, I canceled meetings and went to her immediately.  Next, five days lost work.  Not to mention my little one who suffered.  Thank goodness for flexible work and the ability to stay home when I need to but it sure does put a kink in ones ability to keep up.  (I did win an Ipod Touch Tweeting on @joelcomm’s Tweetathon while my daughter laid on my lap. Woo Hoo and Thanks Joel! Of Course, I haven’t had time to use it yet but you can read more about this event here.)

Next, my daughter told me an alarming story about boys and her private body parts.  This is so personal and dear to us that I won’t go into details.  However, I wanted to mention it to alert you that our children are never too young to be reminded about personal privacy and their own personal power.  My daughter is still three.  I was naive to think she wouldn’t be facing any issues like this yet.  As a protective mama bear, I’m now on the watch and in full training mode. I want you to be aware too so I’m telling you that we need to remind our little girls that they are SUPERGIRL!  Little Swartz and I are now talking about personal safety on a regular basis.  She’s fine but I’m in the middle of an investigation with her school.  What happened to her was mild and I’m thankful that I’m now in high alert mode.  I can do even better to protect her.

Now for the fun stuff.  As I mentioned, she’s turning four soon.  Her Grandma is flying into town for her birthday and we’re planning a party for 40 kiddos.  You know the drill, party planning, invitations, goody bags, food menu, RSVP coordination…oh, and getting ready for a visit from Grandma.

So, I’ve had a few wrenches lately…

I know some of you have had a few wrenches too so I wanted to write about mine. Sometimes it’s just good to know that we aren’t all in this alone. Everyone has wrenches.  I know I’m not perfect but I just keep trying to keep my head above water and to keep moving everything forward. My solace comes from helping other people so I try to help someone else every day. It makes me feel better. What makes you feel better?

In addition to my wrenches, I’m working on some really fabulous things that I can’t wait to tell you all about.  I’ll be writing more detailed posts in the future but for now, go check out GoEverywhere. I’m working on a social media project with them via Square Martini Media.

You can get a beta license to their Cloud Computing product and try it out for FREE….yes FREE! It’s REALLY amazing for a remote worker and helps cut down cost, improve productivity and give you added freedom to work from anywhere without lugging around a big heavy computer!  You know me…I love anything that adds more freedom to working from Everywhere!

Happy Sunday and cheers to turning your Wrenches into Rainbows!

Tracy Green just launched a new website, www.smartworkingmom.com.  Her site is worth a look if you have a minute.  This week, she emailed me and also left a comment on my blog.  I’d like to share them both with you because I think you’ll relate to what she’s saying.

 Email:  “I applaude you!  It was so refreshing to see a website that makes it okay for moms to work, and want to work and celebrates those who do!  I’m emailing to ask your permission to list www.sixfiguremomsclub.com as a  HOT LINK on my evolving website:  www.smartworkingmom.com.  I’m a full-time, plus working mom of two boys and enjoy having a career. My issue became that I was in complete control and successful at the office, but at home — forget it! I was out of my element.  (Snipped)

 Blog Comment: ”First, this is such a dynamic site! Finally, a site that doesn’t try to help moms get over whatever “guilt” they have for working. In terms of the one thing that I’m grateful for this Thanksgiving, OPPORTUNITY — the opportunity to have it all, career, family, health, success, etc. Best, Tracy”

Tracy points out three major issues for Six Figure Working Moms:  Judgment, Guilt and the ability to successfully juggle everything.  In her email, Tracy says it’s refreshing that my website makes it okay for mom’s to work.  Absolutely!  In my mind, it’s okay for a mom to do whatever she wants as long as she’s making choices that are healthy for herself and her family.  It’s so hard for us to remember not to judge each other isn’t it?  We women are our worst enemies.  I catch myself judging other women’s choices all the time and having to remind myself that it’s really none of my business.  Try it for one week.   Be on ultra alert for when you are judging others and ask yourself why.

The second issue Tracy points out is Guilt.  Why DO we feel guilty about working and wanting things for ourselves?  It doesn’t really matter why because it’s a phenomenon that’s been around for as long as women have been working and it’s not likely going away.  I say this because acknowledging guilt as a normal part of being a working mother sometimes makes it a bit more palatable.  Sure, there are some days when it bothers us more than others.  For me, those are the days when I need to readjust my calendar, reroute my priorities and spend more time with my daughter.  My guilt is a pretty good barometer if I use it and understand it correctly. 

Lastly, Tracy discusses that she had everything perfectly oiled at work but things were falling apart at home.  Sound familiar?  There really are only so many hours in the day and you’ve got to remember that balance is required when you’re living your life in the fast lane of career and home life.  You have to allow room for error when your operating at this fast pace.  If someone gets sick or something unexpected happens, your plan will get off kilter so plan for that as a normal part of your routine.  It will undoubtedly happen.  If you expect it, it won’t be such a surprise and will be a little easier to deal with.

“If you only get to give one answer, what ONE thing are you most grateful for?” 

My answer is STRUGGLE.  I’m so thankful for the struggle I have in my life and for so many reasons.

• Struggle makes me continue to grow and think about things from a multitude of perspectives.
• Struggle reminds me that I’m alive.
• Struggle highlights that if things are always easy that I’m not stepping up enough and that I’ve become complacent.  That’s not who I am.  I should be struggling with something.  I’m a change agent and that means that there should be struggle in my life…in every aspect.  That means there will be struggle in my relationships, my career, inside me.
• Struggle is my friend and my ally. If I forget that and let it make me feel down, then that is a sign that I’m not taking good care of myself.
• Struggle is my daughter’s friend too.  She is a lot like her mother.  I must remember who she is and how she is wired and remember that she will struggle with me and that it’s not personal.  It is her path too.

So, yes, my answer my seem a bit strange to you and that’s okay with me.  I want you to think about YOU at your CORE.  What are you truly grateful for about YOU?

YES, I’m grateful for so many other things too.  My daughter, my husband, my family, my friends, my strength, my health, my good fortune, my business, flexible work, work life balance, social media, all the inspiring entrepreneurs I’ve met, and the list goes on and on.  I’m a very, very lucky girl and with a friend like struggle, it’s important for me to stop, sit and remember all these things on a regular basis.

And lastly, let us not forget the comedic one:  TWITTER.  I’m thankful for my affair with twitter.  Yes, it’s still on and it’s hot and heavy.  I’m still in love with twitter and our relationship continues to blossom.

I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving.  I hope you will take a few moments and reflect upon your own struggles, how purposeful they are for you and the wonderful treasures they bring to you in the end.  Be well. Be safe.

If for some reason, you happen to spending this Thanksgiving season alone or in a sad spot or if you are outside of the United States, visit my friend Gail Goodwin’s site at Inspire Me Today.  She’s always got something uplifting to say  

(P.S. Gail is about to make a huge global annoucement about an initiative we’re working on together. Stay tuned and SHHHHH until then.)

Lately, I’ve been around the ocean more than usual and I’ve been paying attention to the sounds, the colors and noticing just how entirely FREE all this beauty is. How is it possible that I don’t do this all the time? Why haven’t I grabbed my husband and gone for a long walk on the beach at night under a full moon? How romantic of a date would that be? Instead of agonizing over planning the perfect evening, why don’t we just jump in the car with a few blankets and a picnic and hang out at the beach?

Well, I guess the answer to that is that my daughter is 3 1/2 and I’ve been a bit busy for the past almost 5 years. Yes, I guess I have been busy…working through, first a career transition, next a pregnancy, next nursing and then my mommy transition but who am I to complain. How about you? What’s your excuse for not seeing the beautiful places around you?

My question to you is When was the Last Time You Kicked Your Kid to the Curb? What do I mean you ask? Well, I talk to moms all the time that haven’t really spent much time away from their children. I’m hear to offer you permission. I want to ask you to open your minds to the free and beautiful opportunities that might be right outside your office or kitchen windows. What can you do that’s right in your backyard for free? Isn’t it time that you got back to your relationships a bit. You know, the place that you started in the first place?

Call me crazy…but just a thought….

For example, I once interviewed a woman who was previously a partner in a very large law firm in Washington DC making over $.5 Million per year. Prior to deciding to start a family, she was the major breadwinner for her family. Once she and her husband embarked upon becoming three, they decided her husband’s career would become the focus and hers would take the back seat.

They left DC and relocated to the Midwest where he settled into a lucrative lead position in a prominent company. She got pregnant, had a baby and started consulting. At the time of our interview, she was a bit lost and although she was doing great work and award winning research, she felt uncomfortable charging for her services. Why is this? It is certainly a phenomenon I see in many women once they off ramp from their high powered careers to care for their children. It’s like our identities are so tied to success and the path that planned for ourselves that we don’t know what to do once we take a detour. What’s up with that? Do we feel guilty? Are we just confused? Can it be that we have tied our self worth so deeply to our salaries that we don’t know what to do once we take a different path? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic so please post your comments and let’s discuss.

Very interestingly and conversely though, women just a few years younger and still without children, can’t imagine this being an issue. Last Friday, I had a discussion with Ginger, Founder of Girls Just Want to Have Funds , a 20 something women’s finance group in Washington DC. Ginger posed the question of “Why Do Professional Women Lose Confidence?” to her blog readers. These readers are a few years younger, well educated and most do not yet have children. They are likely the Six Figure Moms of the future. The responses indicate that this group of educated, young ladies feel they will not experience this same emotion once children enter there lives. Hmmm. I’ll be interested to watch them and to understand whether a younger generation is better equipped to deal with this juggle/struggle. It will be interesting to watch their responses over the next few days.

What do you think? My bet is, as sorry as I am to say this, that unless they’ve been able to build a flexible career for themself already, they’ll be dealing with the same issues that you Six Figure Moms of today are. What CAN we do to help create a different path for them? Well, for one, if you are in a supervisory role, think about what you can do to make change. If you have power, you can be a change agent. What’s stopping you? Your image? Shame Shame ladies!

The goal of the event is to help promote an open dialog about flexibility in the workplace for the many professional mothers and fathers who struggle with work life balance and the employers competing for talent in today’s increasingly demanding work environment. You can read more specifics about the event at their web site but below are a few of the highlights of the conference:

• Are you a professional woman ready to on-ramp / re-enter the workforce after a break?
• Are you an employer looking for new ways to engage high level talent?
• Are you a valued employee who is struggling to keep family life from impacting your work?

Six Figure Moms Club is a contributing sponsor of this event because we feel it is such an important step toward opening doors to more flexible work options with employers in Southern California.

If you would like more information, please contact Jessica Reister at 949-276-9812.

I’ll be attending so twitter me so I’ll be sure to look for you!

I just returned from an 18 day trip last night. My last stop was Blog World Expo ‘08 in Las Vegas. I went to the conference to enhance my understanding of the New Media industry and to learn how to better serve you, my readers, as a writer/blogger. Little did I know of the almost limitless benefits that this little four day trip would bring me. I’m still digesting everything I learned over the past few days and I know I will be for quite some time. However, the one gem of the conference is this:

“If you’re a blogger, you’ve stepped up to your life, addressed your issues, cleaned things up enough that you’re willing to put yourself on stage to the world. You’re an entrepreneur, you’re authentic, you’re passionate, you’re open, you have a genuine desire to help others. You think outside of the box about life options.”

Those of you that know me or who have been reading my blog, know that this is my message to my clients and readers. Can you imagine how lucky I felt to be in a room with 1,000+ other likeminded people? SOOOO amazing!

That in itself would have been enough but in addition, I personally met and talked to at least ten bloggers on Technorati’s Top 100 list and I’m not talking about “Hi, How are you?, Nice to Meet You”…but real, genuine, meaty, helpful conversations. These folks are down to earth, modest, pioneers of their industry and they are ready to help open doors for the next generation to step through and join them. Crazy! I’ll be writing about some of them in the future in more detail but here are just a few of the folks I met, attended class or twitted with during the conference:

• Gary Vaynerchuk (Wine Library TV),
• Tim Ferriss (Author, 4 Hour Work Week),
• Mike Shinoda (Lincoln Park),
• Brian Clark (CopyBlogger),
• Guy Kawasaki (Alltop),
• John Chow (John Chow),
• Jeremy Shoemaker (ShoeMoney),
• Wendy Piersall (eMom)

So, the list of things we six figure moms can learn from the blogger community is long. This is a whole community of people making a living via flexible work options. They work long and hard but they love what they do and they live passionately. They are pioneers just like you can be. I feel like I just hit the jackpot.

As soon as I get a little sleep and collect my thoughts, I’ll share some more with you and we’ll continue on our journey together. In the meantime, feel free to email me with any specific questions.