Proposition 8: Why Should the Majority Get to Choose How the Minority Lives?
Yes, I know. This topic is controversial…especially to working mothers. Well, I guess I mean to say to any mother or any parent for that matter.
As some of my Twitter buddies know, I was in Hollywood over the weekend. As I drove down Santa Monica boulevard, I knew I’d be late for a meeting with Denise Wakeman of The BlogSquad (more on Denise coming soon) due to all of the Proposition 8 demonstrators lining the street. The level of energy was noticably high as people yelled and sang and honked their car horns on every block in support of gay marriage. Today, as I drove through my conservative San Diego neighborhood lined with demonstrators in the rain, the energy was much different. These demonstrators equally as passionate, had showed up to urge us all to Vote “Yes”.
Bottom line for me is that the whole issue feels like discriminition all over again just like with females, jews and blacks in historical times. Why should I (an upper class, caucasion, female) get to decide how a minority lives their life? I am the more fortunate (supposedly). Shouldn’t I lead by example and create systems to make society work for everyone? Call me Pollyanna but can’t we all have everything? For example, if I’m afraid that allowing a gay person to have a child means my child will be taught something I don’t like in school, shouldn’t I address the laws around what is taught in the public school system in lieu of taking away a fundamental right from someone? Is it really okay for me to have that much power over someone else’s human rights?
I do agree that there are some surrounding complications with what is age appropriate to be taught in schools but let’s address those issues in separate laws and make this one purely about gay rights. Isn’t the real issue about whether two people in a loving union can provide a good home to raise children together? My daughter has a friend in her class with two mommies. She also goes to a Jewish preschool and we’re not Jewish. I’m glad that she’s exposed to diversity at such young age and I hope when she’s my age that the world will be a lot more embracing of differences. I love being around and learning from people who aren’t like me and I want to rejoyce in them. It doesn’t mean I want to be like them. It just means I want to understand them and maybe look through their eyes for a bit.
Whether you are for or against Gay marriage, I’d like to ask you to think about one thing. You could be a minority someday. Your life could change in an instant. Would you want someone to make decisions about your life that hadn’t walked in your shoes? Take Michael J. Fox, for example. He’s now a minority due to Parkinson’s Disease and he’s now a proponent for Stem Cell Research, another highly controversial and highly debated topic. Two weeks ago, I heard him talk about this topic at The Women’s Conference. I heard him say how all he really wanted to do was get the two opposing groups at the top of the Stem Cell issue in the same room for a chat. You know what he said he learned? “For the first time in my life, I realized that because of politics and money, there are just people out there that don’t want those conversations to even happen.” Folks, we’re talking about medical research that any one of us might need some day to save one of our children’s lives. Michael J. Fox is using his personal fortune, fame, pain and influence to fund this cause and he can’t get people in a room for a conversation. What’s happened to us?
Because you are a Six Figure Mom and you’re smart and educated, I have high expectations from you. So I urge you. If you haven’t voted yet, regardless of which way you are voting today. Do one thing for me? Make sure you are making your choice for all the right reasons, okay?? Thanks for indulging me today. I just couldn’t leave this one unsaid.
21 Responses to “Proposition 8: Why Should the Majority Get to Choose How the Minority Lives?”
Please Wait
Nicely said.
I also think it’s weird, to say the least, that people from Utah who are funding Yes on Prop 8 get to decide what the *California* state constitution says.
Cheers!
BRAVO! I loved the post and whole-heartedly agree.
Wow! That was a great post! Very well said, Angie. Indeed, the issue is about gay rights, rights of a group of people and not about school policies or laws regarding what the churches will or won’t be required to do. The defeat of Prop 8 will not require schools to teach about gay marriage. Teachers are not suddenly going to tell kids that Johnny can marry Johnny! And churches will not be required to marry gay couples. These are lies that the Yes on 8 people are spreading to scare voters into voting for them.
Nobody voted on a straight couple’s marriage, why should we (straight people)think we have the right to vote on a gay couple’s marriage-worse still, vote it down!? As you know, I am in an interracial marriage and had it been up to these fundamentalist ideals, I would not be married to my lovely wife today! Prop 8 is about discrimination and that is, as you have said, the bottom line.
This is a civil rights issue. If you did not get to march with Dr. King, this is your chance. Vote no on 8 and ‘march’ to support the people who are trying to defeat this horrific and , really, very sad proposition. I just cannot understand how people can bring themselves to vote for a proposition that will potentially break the several thousand marriages that have happened sine gay marriage was approved in CA.
Another issue people are concerned about is what if their son/daughter starts asking if he/she can marry someone of their own gender if Prop 8 is defeated. Well, dear Mr. or Mrs. concerned your son or daughter is not going to marry someone of their own gender unless they are gay! And if they are gay, they are gay not by choice. Please don’t start thinking we are straight because we had a choice! This is how we came and that is how gay people came. It didn’t happen during adolescence! And, if your child was/is gay, I seriously hope you would not crush the young one’s desire for love because of your selfish and misguided fundamentalist ideals.
Thank you Angie for your insightful post. We as business owners tend to get so concerned about offending our clients/readers/followers that we compromise our principles, we forget to fight for what is right, we forget to stand up for what we believe in. However, you have stood your ground today-again!
Thank you for being strong!
@webocsupport on twitter
Bravo! And I am with you 100%. Thanks for putting your viewpoint out there.
Angie,
I applaud your conviction to speak your truth and be authentic in all you do. It is quite an inspiration!
Amy
On twitter @LotusAmy
Whatever happended to separation of church and state? As a member of the DAR, I am directly descended from a man (Moses Cowles) who fought for our freedom. Thank you Moses, I voted NO on 8.
AMERICA with liberty and justice for ALL.
A handmade sign I saw in the back window of a car yesterday:
“YOU CAN BE STRAIGHT AND VOTE NO ON 8!”
Sums it up beautifully, I think!
Nice post, Angie. Thanks.
Way to go and well said. Being a heterosexual married Catholic mother of 2 I have my hands full enough to tell others how to live their lives. Prop 8 is very deceptive and misleading. I just hope No on Prop 8 passes so everyone can live according to dreams..
Well said!
Found this post from your tweet. Great job addressing some of the concerns people raise.
I’m a happily married heterosexual, and believe our gay & lesbian brothers and sister should enjoy the same rights I have.
Just as laws were changed to allow inter-racial marriages, eventually same-sex marriage will be allowed. It might take awhile, but it is inevitable.
Kudos, kudos to you for a well-written post that so sensibly describes the core of this issue. How I wish NPR was interviewing YOU last week when they gave airtime to proponents and opponents of this proposition. I am still holding my breath and crossing my fingers that this is defeated once all ballots are counted.
Well said, Angie. I find it so sad that H-8 (hate)has become a “family value”. I pray for those who feel it is everyone’s best interest to discriminate. If they are trying to follow Jesus’ example, they are not reading their Bible very well. Jesus didn’t discriminate–he offered grace and forgiveness–a REAL family value.
Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on what’s for dinner.
The issue here isn’t about hate or intolerance, it’s about government interfering in private relationships between consenting adults. Why does government need to license or recognize ANY relationship?
Wow… where did the 52% come in, it looks like it should have been a clean sweep from this site. In this conservitive State I think individuals forget that any issue involving human rights is about them, the subject matter is secondary. Let’s hope it will turn around after all are counted.
I continue to not understand why we feel the need to dictate how someone else lives their life. If they are not harming anyone else, why should we care. Congratulations on speaking up for each persons ability to live as they see fit.
I voted – and was glad.
Hi Angie – I’m not a six figure mom – but we met at Thin Air Summit. It was great to meet you! Good luck as you continue doing all you do.
Well Jen…..I’m one of the 52% (please read this with a nice tone b/c that is completely how I mean it
) To address the hate issue, I don’t think the people who voted for 8 did so out of hate. I would pray that they like Jesus (as mentioned) love homosexuals. They just don’t condone the activity. Come on…don’t we all have friends that we love yet we hate something they do..date the wrong men, cheat on their taxes, etc,etc. Surely we can disapprove of a behavior and still have love in our hearts for those involved. Please don’t assume that the Yes on 8 people voted that way out of hate. To be honest, and probably a little more religious than will be appreciated, I believe that if you love someone you tell them if you think they are doing something wrong or dangerous. We can debate the wrong part surely, but the dangers of a homosexual (or for that matter promiscuous heterosexual) lifestyle cannot be denied. I cannot claim to have that many gay friends at this point. But in my life I did befriend the only guy in my school believed to be gay (even he wasn’t sure). And I have met and been friends with others at different times in my life. For all of them, I still feel love. I just don’t agree with their lifestyle.
So, while I love you and your post Angie, I have to disagree this time……but you already knew that. All this being said, I do believe it is good to keep up the dialogue and I’m glad you brought up the subject.
Keep up the good work.
Hi Tracie, Thanks for your comments. Please, KEEP THEM COMING! Assuming a gay lifestyle is “dangerous” or “promiscuous” is a stereotype and is one of the reasons I’m choosing to write about this topic. I’d love to understand what is dangerous about two women living together raising a family? I know several same sex couples, living lives very similarly to how I live mine. They work, eat, sleep, and try to manage life with a toddler just like I do. The main difference is not in how they choose to have sex but in the fact that they have so many people passing judgment about their lifestyle that they must live differently in a protective shell. They must constantly be cautious and be looking over their shoulders.
I’m always good with agreeing to disagree. That’s the great thing about our country. As a blogger though, I feel obligated to educate so I’ll keep trying as long as you all will keep reading.
Let me start by saying I don’t believe government has any business in denying or giving rights to private relationships between consenting adults. But Prop 8 getting passed does not take away your gay rights to live together and have relationships. I imagine there are supporters of this that are threatened with the redefinition of the religious institution of marriage, not the civil one. I haven’t understood why the goal isn’t to pursue the same legal and civil rights as a marriage. Also battling the religious institution should be a separate cause.
Hi again Angie. Just to clear up my post, I wasn’t assuming all homosexuals were promiscuous. I was merely stating as a side note that I also believe promiscuous heterosexual behavior is equally dangerous. And stating that homosexual activity is dangerous isn’t meant as a stereotype. I was merely refering to facts that even the homosexual community acknowledges. They are more at risk for HIV, hepatitis and other STDs. I wasn’t refering to other aspects of their lives. I also know that for every statistic there is someone who defies it. (I mean look how young I was when I got married and 20 years later we’re still together
) I know we won’t come together on this particular issue. But please believe me when I say this isn’t some sort of “party line” that I have been fed and am merely repeating. I’ve been all over the map on this one in my lifetime. But, after hearing from both sides pretty equally, I think I’ve made a fairly educated decision. It’s a decision that obviously isn’t popular in many places, yet I stand by it. I just want to give a voice to people like myself who have thought and yes prayed about this and are now being described as hateful and ignorant. I think that is a stereotype.
Still love reading your posts though.
A belated thank you, Angie, for posting this.
For most of the history of this country, my own marriage — to someone of a different race — would have been illegal in many states. So I ask myself: How would I have felt being denied the right to marry the man I loved? It’s a sobering thought.
After decades of civil rights activism, most Americans now agree that the anti-miscegenation laws were wrong. Still, there are some people, even today, who oppose interracial marriage, and perhaps would seek to outlaw it if they could.
I’m confident that some day it will be just as clear to most Americans that denying same-sex couples the right to marry was wrong. And there will still be those who oppose such marriages, and would want to outlaw them.
The civil rights genie is out of the bottle, and it’s not going back in unless people cease to speak out on behalf of those whose civil rights are being denied.
Could this whole issue be as simple, really, as the Golden Rule?
Glad you’re speaking out, Angie.