I think motherhood brings with it a powerful opportunity for us to deeply examine what “self” means to us. There is no other transition in life that changes us so thoroughly, and I think this is a GOOD THING. In this opening, this vulnerable transition, we have an opportunity to consciously choose who and what we want to be, moving forward. We have new priorities that cause us to question our values; question how we spend our time. It’s all up to us to decide how that is going to play out.

After all, we want the best for our children, and I think we all know that the strongest way to influence our kids is by modeling a vibrant, fulfilling, happy life.

Comment:
While I have managed to pull off the work-family balance fairly well, I do find younger women somewhat naive about the challenges they will face as working mothers, just as I was back then. I remember thinking at 22 that I would take a few years out of the workforce and get back in when my children got older. Then, I started to realize that a few years out of the workforce could have dramatic a dramatic impact on career success and earnings for years to come. I I taught an undergrad class just a couple of years ago, and the 18-22 year olds were put off by a video that I showed them depicting a house husband. This man’s wife continued her executive career and let him run the house while he worked from home as a freelance graphic designer. The female students all said they could not imagine letting their husband perform the role she thought she “should” perform. But, almost all of these same young women expected to combine work and family. My challenge to them to think critically about how they would really pull this off was met with a lot of denial about the challenges that they had in front of them.

So, they have kids, the voice kicks in and the deed is done.

However, I believe that if a woman is fully self-expressing herself with kids or without, she will be her happiest, most fulfilled and able to give her kids the most and best love and guidance possible, because she is being honest and loving with herself.

Thanks for the thought provoking post.

Being a mom brings up much more uncertainty than one has before little lives and their future success are under your guidance. And there are many more complexities and logistical issues that you just don’t have BK. I don’t actually feel less sure of myself – just have learning to do about how to manage this much more complex reality with much less framework provided than I had in the corporate world. ALOT of learning!

At this point, I am preparing to return to corporate life. The kids are old enough, and hubby is now able to switch his career to be more flexible. Wish us luck, I sure have my fingers crossed tightly!

Most of us are Generation X/Y, not sure if your readers/members would be more baby boomers? If so then our generation are moreso taught that we CAN have it all, within balance and reason of course. We are told that we can be supermoms, superwomen and given the tools to do so through sites like Brazen Careerist, Cafe Mom, The Nest and the like.

Maybe the women here have been told they should choose one in stead of the other and are caught in between the two. A generation they see having the choice and taking on both, but struggle with old attitudes. It’s like the evolution of Motherhood 2.0 still battling with old management styles of the 80s telling women they need to make a choice or stay home.

I truly think that the women who actually DOUBT their ABILITIES are doing so because of old styles of thinking and lack of acceptance for their positions as mothers.