Archive for August, 2008

Last night, I had the great pleasure to visit with my friend, Kim Crumpler, award winning Style Coach and Owner of Uniquely Savvy based in Seattle. Kim runs her business with one of my favorite life flavors, she uses authenticity in people to help them build confidence in themselves through wardrobe selection. Kim is here in San Diego to attend a Buffini and Company seminar. That’s another thing I love about her. She consistently works on herself and personal development reaching further to know herself on a deeper level and to push herself.

If you’re in the coaching business like me, you hear people talking about life purpose all the time. Whether it’s other coaches or clients looking for a more meaningful life, seems like I’m talking about this topic at least once every day. As for me, I’m at a great place with life purpose. I feel like every single thing I’ve done in my career specifically served to lead me to this very moment. Yes, that’s a “whoa that’s big” statement. (For those of you who don’t know, I’m a recovering Telecom Professional, MBA, CPA type turned Executive Coach, Blogger, Writer, Speaker). Actually, I’m so happy with my career that I think my friends are getting a little sick of me and sometimes frightened by my delight. They are looking at me and going. “Ok, Missy. It’s great to be in your fabulous euphoria, but come back down here to Earth with the rest of us and tell us how to get from where we are to our next step”. Fair enough.

I received great comments both online and in person regarding my previous post, “Is It Easier to Solve The Quadratic Equation or Work LIfe Balance?“so I thought it worthy of further discussion.  Specifically, Jen Potter posted an interesting comment.  We’ll investigate further but first let me tell you a little about Jen and how I know her.  I ran into Jen last weekend.  We probably hadn’t seen each other in over four years.  We used to work together in a large accounting department.  Jen is one of those people that sparkles.  She has an incredible personal compass, pizazz and a personal style that gets her noticed and liked wherever she goes.  She’s also been dealing with life threatening health issues since childhood but she doesn’t let that get in her way.  To the contrary, she uses it as motivation to be strong and live her life cherishing each moment.  When I ran into Jen last weekend she introduced me to her daughter and we talked about her current situation as a part time worker.  She said she told her employer she had to have part time work or resign.  That was the only option she could accept so now she’s working part time.  Jen is an accounts payable employee and she’s out there bellying up to the bar and making change for future generations.  She’s a pioneer in creating her best life and forging a path for flexible work because she’s asking for what she needs and designing a life outside of the box for herself and her family.   What an example for the rest of us?

As for me, I think I’ll take the quadratic equation any day. Not that I love algebra but at least I know it’s solvable. I’m not sure work life balance is. Perhaps it seemingly is one day and then the next day something goes haywire. Did you ever see that pinball machine called Haywire? If you hit a certain bumper, everything goes crazy? That’s what my life feels like when I’m living the facade of work life balance and then one little thing gets tipped. For example, my daughter gets a virus and I have to cancel all of my appointments, then she gives it to me, and I cancel more appointments. You know the drill. Everything goes haywire.

I went to a client’s wedding last night.  She’s been a single, working mother for over 15 years.  It’s been my great pleasure to work with her and observe her amazing transformation over the past few months.  You see, she’s been doing incredible work and getting to know herself again.  Well, maybe not again.  Maybe even for the first time ever.  My client is over fifty and has been living a life of service to others for many years..to her children, her church, her friends, her employers.  There hasn’t been much time for her.   (Can I take a moment to tell you she’s SO amazing?)  Anyway, she met a man who initially I thought kismit had brought to her because it was about time that she have some joy and pleasure for herself.  But as I sat in the church watching the ceremony, I realized that although that is partially true, the universe has a much bigger plan in store for her.  The ceremony included performances by my clients children.  Her daughter has a voice like Ella Fitzgerald (or Christina Aguillara for those of you youngsters) and her son performed a reading that made me feel like I was sitting on Broadway in NYC.  I watched, listened and wondered about both of them and their individual journeys.  Remember I coach their mother, so even though I don’t know them, I already know something about the challenges in their lives.  

I went to La Jolla Shores beach with my three year old daughter today.  She thinks she’s a mermaid.  Really.  We were meeting some friends and although I was wearing  a swimsuit I hadn’t planned on swimming.  However, the mermaid had different plans.  Not only did she want to swim, she wanted to swim in gigantic ten foot waves while holding onto me with water splashing over our heads.  Now, I’m a confident swimmer and she is too for her age but I have to say I was a bit surprised at how daring she had become.  I knew we were safe so I decided to let her determine how far she was willing to go.  Each time a wave would pass, she would let go of me and swim around alone until she saw a swell approaching again.  It was amazing.  I was in love with my daughter all over again and in complete awe of her self assurance.  About the time I started to hear music in my head, we got blasted with a wave that churned us both under water.  She burst into huge tears and it was time to get out.  We were fine and she was done but oh boy what a lesson for me.  Can I possibly ever be as brave as she is?  Am I pushing my own limits of courage like this little three year old? If I’m not, how can I possibly become the role model that she needs to keep her stimulated?  Oh, man, have I got my work cut out for me.  I drove home thinking what a wonderful gift she is for my own personal development.  Although I’ve read volumes about how children are our greatest teachers, I guess I got it on much deeper level today. Thanks for the lesson, Miss Mermaid.

How many of you have discovered my friend the BOSU?  It’s by far my favorite piece of work out equipment of all time and that’s saying a lot since I was very close friends with the reebok step for years.  I love the BOSU at home, at the gym, for short or long work outs, for legs or for upper body.  Okay, I just love it.  You get the point.  I’m pretty skilled with the BOSU for my fitness level but some days I just can’t do anything with it.  Those are the days when I just can’t calm down my mind.  Balancing on a BOSU ball takes incredible concentration and that’s something I just can’t do when my to do list has escalated to the Nth degree.  There are days when I can stand on the BOSU and lift cable weights heavier than what I can standing flatfooted and then there are the days when I can’t even stand on it and balance with any weight.  What’s the difference?  Me.  It’s all in my head.  So, why is this showing up here?  The BOSU exercise and Work Life Balance are the same.  We can’t focus on balance unless we’re focusing on balance so I ask you, what are the processes you have in place to make sure you are making life balance a priority?  Perhaps you should buy a BOSU for home too because, believe me, just looking at it reminds me to get out of my head.

Women consistently tell me, “I love your blog, but I just don’t think I fit as a Six Figure Mom”.  They tell me they aren’t working right now or they don’t make six figure salaries.  Ladies, regardless, YOU are the target.  You and all other moms that have worked, want to work, or are working now.  The thing you all have in common is that a professional career is ingrained in who you are… whether you work today, yesterday or tomorrow. 

This week, I’ve had about six really meaningful conversations with folks about passionate life work versus working for money.  It really is too bad that we even need money.  It’s such a BIG distraction. People want to go in one direction but they end up going in the other because of money.  Or, they go down the path they feel most passionate about and then have to switch gears because they run out of money.  I met a lady this week in that exact position.  She clearly needed Seth Godin’s book, The Dip, which I’ve mentioned here before.  What would we do if we didn’t have to think about money at all?  I often ask my clients to write a press release about themself as if they had won the lottery.  Why? Because I think it’s a freeing exercise that helps facilitate clarity about what we’re really proud of and what we really want.  Equally important is that you can then tailor your life to go in that direction even though you haven’t hit the jackpot.  You may be able to implement some small changes in your everyday life that impact a big change for you.  I’ve been thinking about all this everyday and then I read Seth Godin’s blog this morning.

Yesterday, I was talking with my good friend John about his business.  He was jazzed because he has connected with a mentor who really gets him.  John has always used coaches and is an open, evolved guy.  He is single, doesn’t have children and works six plus days per week.  His friends and customers always pressure him that he works too much and should focus more on his personal life.  However, he loves his job and is very happy and well balanced.  HE doesn’t feel like he needs to change anything and is very content spending his time building his business.