If you’re in the coaching business like me, you hear people talking about life purpose all the time. Whether it’s other coaches or clients looking for a more meaningful life, seems like I’m talking about this topic at least once every day. As for me, I’m at a great place with life purpose. I feel like every single thing I’ve done in my career specifically served to lead me to this very moment. Yes, that’s a “whoa that’s big” statement. (For those of you who don’t know, I’m a recovering Telecom Professional, MBA, CPA type turned Executive Coach, Blogger, Writer, Speaker). Actually, I’m so happy with my career that I think my friends are getting a little sick of me and sometimes frightened by my delight. They are looking at me and going. “Ok, Missy. It’s great to be in your fabulous euphoria, but come back down here to Earth with the rest of us and tell us how to get from where we are to our next step”. Fair enough.

I left my corporate position over four years ago. I can tell you that those four years have been the most excruciatingly difficult times of my life. Yes, even more difficult than high school and puberty. Why? Because going through two transitions at the same time 1) Becoming a parent and 2) Changing careers was almost more than I could navigate and still stay sane. (In an earlier post, I quoted colleague Tim Kelley, who said, “Your LIfe Purpose is the Thing You Struggled With The Most In Your Own Life”….Are you getting my life purpose and the tie to Six Figure Moms yet?).

Anyway, why am I writing about this today? Several clients have asked me lately. “Angie, Do you really think it’s necessary to do all this self discovery work to find out what I’m supposed to do with my career?” All I can do is laugh. Because I know, from looking back at them from the vantage point of the fabulous but difficult road I’ve already traveled that they are only cheating them self by even asking the question. And again I ask myself, “How do you get a horse to drink?” You know, the, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink” adage? (If only I could invent some kind of elixir or kool aid to serve all of my clients…hmmm, I’ll have to work on that. But I digress…).

SO, the point of this whole story today is this, it’s not at all about finding your life purpose, but in finding the courage to embark on the journey. To search for your purpose because it is the path to finding your best, most authentic self and to be able to look in the mirror and see how fabulous you really are. Who can resist that?

I’ll be writing more about this topic over time but today I ask you to open your mind to your own self discovery. YOU are waiting.

I received great comments both online and in person regarding my previous post, “Is It Easier to Solve The Quadratic Equation or Work LIfe Balance?“so I thought it worthy of further discussion.  Specifically, Jen Potter posted an interesting comment.  We’ll investigate further but first let me tell you a little about Jen and how I know her.  I ran into Jen last weekend.  We probably hadn’t seen each other in over four years.  We used to work together in a large accounting department.  Jen is one of those people that sparkles.  She has an incredible personal compass, pizazz and a personal style that gets her noticed and liked wherever she goes.  She’s also been dealing with life threatening health issues since childhood but she doesn’t let that get in her way.  To the contrary, she uses it as motivation to be strong and live her life cherishing each moment.  When I ran into Jen last weekend she introduced me to her daughter and we talked about her current situation as a part time worker.  She said she told her employer she had to have part time work or resign.  That was the only option she could accept so now she’s working part time.  Jen is an accounts payable employee and she’s out there bellying up to the bar and making change for future generations.  She’s a pioneer in creating her best life and forging a path for flexible work because she’s asking for what she needs and designing a life outside of the box for herself and her family.   What an example for the rest of us?

In her comment to my blogpost, she so poignently points out that there’s a fundamental issue with the whole concept of Work Life Balance beginning with the name itself.  Starting the name with work, not LIFE is not a good start.  Excellent point Jen.  What else can you teach us?  Leaders are everywhere around us.  We just have to open our eyes and our hearts to them.  I’m thankful that I ran into Jen and I’m wondering who will teach me what lesson this weekend.  So cheers to LIfe Balance.  What mantras do the rest of you live by?

As for me, I think I’ll take the quadratic equation any day. Not that I love algebra but at least I know it’s solvable. I’m not sure work life balance is. Perhaps it seemingly is one day and then the next day something goes haywire. Did you ever see that pinball machine called Haywire? If you hit a certain bumper, everything goes crazy? That’s what my life feels like when I’m living the facade of work life balance and then one little thing gets tipped. For example, my daughter gets a virus and I have to cancel all of my appointments, then she gives it to me, and I cancel more appointments. You know the drill. Everything goes haywire.

I was talking with a good friend last week. She used to work but now she’s a stay at home mom of two. She said, I can’t believe I’ve been off work for over three years now. I keep thinking if I go back, I’ll feel better about contributing to the family finances and therefore feel better about taking time out and spending money on myself. I smiled, knowing that the scale would then get off kilter in another direction. I see it all the time. Moms who work don’t take time for themselves because they feel guilty for not spending enough time with their kids. Nobody’s got the perfect scenario.

So, back to my original point. Is Work Life Balance is an oxymoron? Perhaps if we renamed it to Work Life Imbalance and accepted it as such, we would all be a bit happier with our lives as working mothers? I know I’ve been trying to embrace it as such and it’s helping. I try to be present with whatever is in front of me at that moment. Yes, there are days when I feel like I’m constantly running from one gauntlet to the next. (I’ll admit, I’m okay with that most of the time because I’m wired to operate that way. Those of you who know me can attest.  At least until I run into the Haywire bumper that is). But there are other days when I feel like I can’t catch my breath. Those are the days when I have to think about the quadratic equation…and the oxymoron of work life balance and to know that my life is like this because I choose for it to be full with work, life and a child. I wouldn’t want it any other way. How about you?

P S. Here’s a nice article by the Mayo Clinic with some suggestions for how to improve your Work Life Imbalance.

I went to a client’s wedding last night.  She’s been a single, working mother for over 15 years.  It’s been my great pleasure to work with her and observe her amazing transformation over the past few months.  You see, she’s been doing incredible work and getting to know herself again.  Well, maybe not again.  Maybe even for the first time ever.  My client is over fifty and has been living a life of service to others for many years..to her children, her church, her friends, her employers.  There hasn’t been much time for her.   (Can I take a moment to tell you she’s SO amazing?)  Anyway, she met a man who initially I thought kismit had brought to her because it was about time that she have some joy and pleasure for herself.  But as I sat in the church watching the ceremony, I realized that although that is partially true, the universe has a much bigger plan in store for her.  The ceremony included performances by my clients children.  Her daughter has a voice like Ella Fitzgerald (or Christina Aguillara for those of you youngsters) and her son performed a reading that made me feel like I was sitting on Broadway in NYC.  I watched, listened and wondered about both of them and their individual journeys.  Remember I coach their mother, so even though I don’t know them, I already know something about the challenges in their lives.  

So I’m sitting there in awe of this family’s incredible talent and a sudden realization washes over me.  The gift of love that has arrived for my client is only partially for her. There is a bigger purpose at work here.   My friend is being blessed with love so that she can be strong enough to grow and use her new level of personal power to influence and support her children to help them get to a higher level of their own personal best.  Oh my!  I was overwhelmed with emotion witnessing the greatness of the moment.   She’s been incredibly strong for them all these years but her supply was running low and so the world gave her new fuel.  Go forth and prosper my friend.  I look forward to your next chapters.

And for you single, working mothers, take note, this could be you soon too.

I went to La Jolla Shores beach with my three year old daughter today.  She thinks she’s a mermaid.  Really.  We were meeting some friends and although I was wearing  a swimsuit I hadn’t planned on swimming.  However, the mermaid had different plans.  Not only did she want to swim, she wanted to swim in gigantic ten foot waves while holding onto me with water splashing over our heads.  Now, I’m a confident swimmer and she is too for her age but I have to say I was a bit surprised at how daring she had become.  I knew we were safe so I decided to let her determine how far she was willing to go.  Each time a wave would pass, she would let go of me and swim around alone until she saw a swell approaching again.  It was amazing.  I was in love with my daughter all over again and in complete awe of her self assurance.  About the time I started to hear music in my head, we got blasted with a wave that churned us both under water.  She burst into huge tears and it was time to get out.  We were fine and she was done but oh boy what a lesson for me.  Can I possibly ever be as brave as she is?  Am I pushing my own limits of courage like this little three year old? If I’m not, how can I possibly become the role model that she needs to keep her stimulated?  Oh, man, have I got my work cut out for me.  I drove home thinking what a wonderful gift she is for my own personal development.  Although I’ve read volumes about how children are our greatest teachers, I guess I got it on much deeper level today. Thanks for the lesson, Miss Mermaid.

How many of you have discovered my friend the BOSU?  It’s by far my favorite piece of work out equipment of all time and that’s saying a lot since I was very close friends with the reebok step for years.  I love the BOSU at home, at the gym, for short or long work outs, for legs or for upper body.  Okay, I just love it.  You get the point.  I’m pretty skilled with the BOSU for my fitness level but some days I just can’t do anything with it.  Those are the days when I just can’t calm down my mind.  Balancing on a BOSU ball takes incredible concentration and that’s something I just can’t do when my to do list has escalated to the Nth degree.  There are days when I can stand on the BOSU and lift cable weights heavier than what I can standing flatfooted and then there are the days when I can’t even stand on it and balance with any weight.  What’s the difference?  Me.  It’s all in my head.  So, why is this showing up here?  The BOSU exercise and Work Life Balance are the same.  We can’t focus on balance unless we’re focusing on balance so I ask you, what are the processes you have in place to make sure you are making life balance a priority?  Perhaps you should buy a BOSU for home too because, believe me, just looking at it reminds me to get out of my head.

P.S. There’s one other great thing about the BOSU I just have to mention, it has endless ways to challenge your skill levels.  Go to YouTube and search for videos on the BOSU and you’ll see just how far you could push yourself with it.  (I’ve posted one of my favorite examples on my facebook page.  BTW, this is not in my repertoire for the record.) 

Women consistently tell me, “I love your blog, but I just don’t think I fit as a Six Figure Mom”.  They tell me they aren’t working right now or they don’t make six figure salaries.  Ladies, regardless, YOU are the target.  You and all other moms that have worked, want to work, or are working now.  The thing you all have in common is that a professional career is ingrained in who you are… whether you work today, yesterday or tomorrow. 

Whether you are at a career crossroads where you aren’t quite sure what you’ll be doing next, are choosing to stay home with your children, work a corporate job or own a business, you are all trying to balance a tremendous pressure.  This blog is about personal leadership and finding options that work for you.   

If you google the word cocooning, you’ll come up with definition coined by marketing goddess, Faith Popcorn .  Well, Faith, can I borrow your word and add a second definition please? To me, Cocooning is a time for rebirth and reinvention and mothers do that whether it’s deliberate or not.  How can we help it?  So, take a deep breath.  Yes, you’re taking a break.  But stop and think for a moment.  Maybe you wouldn’t be in this stage of self exploration if your children hadn’t come along to offer you the perfect excuse to exit your old life.  Shouldn’t we be thanking our children for this forced sabbatical  and also seeing them as the catalyst they are.  You’re all Six Figure Moms in my eyes.

This week, I’ve had about six really meaningful conversations with folks about passionate life work versus working for money.  It really is too bad that we even need money.  It’s such a BIG distraction. People want to go in one direction but they end up going in the other because of money.  Or, they go down the path they feel most passionate about and then have to switch gears because they run out of money.  I met a lady this week in that exact position.  She clearly needed Seth Godin’s book, The Dip, which I’ve mentioned here before.  What would we do if we didn’t have to think about money at all?  I often ask my clients to write a press release about themself as if they had won the lottery.  Why? Because I think it’s a freeing exercise that helps facilitate clarity about what we’re really proud of and what we really want.  Equally important is that you can then tailor your life to go in that direction even though you haven’t hit the jackpot.  You may be able to implement some small changes in your everyday life that impact a big change for you.  I’ve been thinking about all this everyday and then I read Seth Godin’s blog this morning.

I love Seth’s blog so much that I almost think I could just feed his to you guys and stop writing.  Some days it seems he’s walking in my path next to me and then writing about what I’m living.  Here’s his post today, “When in Doubt, (Don’t) Follow the Money”.  Seth, thanks for another great post and for reminding me to stay on my path.

Lastly, The Barenaked Ladies have been a favorite band for years.  It’s not coincidence.  If you know them, you know that their breakthrough song is, If I had a Million Dollars….and it always reminds me to be present with my dreams….and to slow down and have a litte fun.  Happy Friday everyone!

Yesterday, I was talking with my good friend John about his business.  He was jazzed because he has connected with a mentor who really gets him.  John has always used coaches and is an open, evolved guy.  He is single, doesn’t have children and works six plus days per week.  His friends and customers always pressure him that he works too much and should focus more on his personal life.  However, he loves his job and is very happy and well balanced.  HE doesn’t feel like he needs to change anything and is very content spending his time building his business.

So, anyway, he’s telling me how excited he is to have connected with such a great inspirational coach and I’m about to say you’re welcome (because I’m always giving him advice whether he asks for it or not). Then he tells me that his inspiration is none other than Donny Deutsch, and his TV show, The Big Idea.  I start laughing as I realize he’s been talking about Donny Deutsch for the last month as if he started dating a new girlfriend.  Seems that Donny gave him permission to work as many hours as he wants and provided a benchmark of other happily thriving, balanced, hard-working business owners.  So, John, thanks for reminding us Six Figure Moms to look for inspiration in all out of the box directions and best of luck. 

And readers, Donny does have some pretty impressive messages so check him out.  Thanks to John and many other folks that have been buzzing about Donny,  I’ve been following him too.  Good stuff.   Who are you all following on the cutting edge these days?

There have been a lot of articles in the media over the past few weeks debating whether Facebook actually has any value.  This, in itself, indicates that there is a whole lot of value in Facebook.  I wanted to share with you an interesting article from Harvard Business Publications by Jeff Stibel.  Jeff talks about why Facebook is so much better than other social networks and why it fundamentally works.  Personally, I continue to be amazed at the functionality of Facebook.  Almost every day I discover something new that you can do with it.  Did you know you can even hire a Facebook coach?  Yes, it’s true, many mainstream corporate employees continue to choose LInked In and Plaxo over Facebook since some perceive Facebook is for a younger generation.  I did an experiment last week after attending a UC-Irvine MBA Alumni event.  For all of the business cards I collected, I checked to see if the folks were in Facebook and Linked In.  >90% were only in Linked In.  Interestingly enough, the next day I received a phone call from someone looking for a coach who had been refered to me in Facebook by the other 10%.  These folks also happened to be the younger people in the crowd.  Point in case, if you want to do business with Gen X, you’ve got to be in Facebook.  You know what their vote is regarding whether Facebook has value. 

If you are a working mom who thinks she wants career change, I encourage you to spend a few hours playing around in Facebook to see how other people are making money on the web.  You might also have a little fun while you’re at it.  Maybe Facebook is your path to telecommuting, flexible work and the ever escaping work life balance.  Besides, don’t you want to keep up with your kids humor?